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[留学经验] 社交魅力课堂:7个好习惯让你更有魅力

发表于 2016-11-28 15:55:32 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式

There’s no question that charismatic people are some of the most successful individuals out there. Professor Wiseman at the University of Hertfordshire in the UK estimates charisma is 50% innate and 50% trained. The key ingredients of charisma are simple actions that, with practice, become a part of your personality and improve your interactions with everyone around you, increasing your overallsatisfaction with life. Here are 7 qualities of charismatic people that you can incorporate into your life.

1. Listen Actively
When you listen, give them your undivided attention and ask questions. Do NOT check your phone more than once in a conversation – better yet, don’t check it at all! A study by the University of Colorado found that active listening helps avoid misunderstandings and opens people up to get them to say more. Actively listening will improve communication with those around you, whether you’re working with them or living with them. People tend to remember good listeners as positive people.

2. Speak Clearly
Take your time and think about each sentence. The more you speak with unnecessary filler, the less clear you are. Especially when speaking to more than one person at once, or to a new group of people, practice your approach beforehand. Am I saying everything I need to say? Is everything I’m saying necessary? Is there a clear objective and purpose to what I am saying?

3. Smile from Within
A genuine smile from within shows on the outside: you smile with your eyes and mouth. Not to say you have to walk around with a grin all the time! But when you smile on the inside, people are more receptive when you approach them. The women with a Duchenne smile were more likely to be married and stay married than those who had a fake smile, and were more likely to experience greater sense of personal well-being. When you smile from the heart and follow up with a kind personality, you will get more and give more to the world than you ever thought possible.

4. Stand Up Tall
Imagine there’s a string running from your navel, through your head and up into the ceiling. It’s an old dancer’s trick, and works for the rest of us to maintain great posture throughout the day. Good posture makes you appear secure and confident; if you’re not feeling that confident today, fake it until you make it! Remember to keep your shoulders down.

5. Spread Praise & Phrase
Ever hear “it’s not what you say, but how you say it?” If you have to critique someone, before you do, think of how you would want to be critiqued. Be direct and address the problem at hand, propose a solution, get feedback and establish a timeframe. At the same time, give credit & compliments where they are due. Building confidence in yourself is important, but being able to build confidence in others – that’s charisma.

6. Remember Names
A legendarily successful writer known as “Mr. Charisma” himself, once said that “a person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” It’s simple but effective. When you first learn someone’s name, repeat it back to them by saying “Hi Amanda” or “It’s a pleasure to meet you Amanda.” Also use their name when you end the conversation, it’ll help immensely. You can also visualize the person’s name on their forehead, or associate that person’s name with a facial feature, like “Joe’s Eyebrows.” If all else fails, after meeting someone new, type their name into your phone with a short descriptive word.
被称为“魅力先生”的传奇成功作家戴尔卡耐基曾说过:“无论在什么语言中,对于一个人来说,他的名字永远是最好听和最重要的。” 这个道理很简单,但也很有用。当你第一次知道别人的名字,就立即重复他们的名字给予反馈,比如说“你好,阿曼达”,或者“认识你真高兴,阿曼达。” 同时,在结束对话时也要提及对方的名字,这会帮大忙。你也可以用名字形容他们的长相或者他们的面部表情。比如 “乔的眉毛”。如果这都不管用,在认识新朋友之后,把他们的名字简写存进你的手机里。

7. Eye Contact
Make eye contact while a person is talking to you, and while you are speaking to them. Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of communication – it allows you to really see if your message is getting through. It keeps the other person focused on you, and keeps you focused on their words and meaning. If you’re making a presentation or speech, make eye contact once with as many people in the room as possible. It will make the whole event feel much more personal to your audience.
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